Onishny

[told by Bela, the long-winded "captain" of the encampment; Ana and Ursula use puppets to enact the scene alonside him]

Yes, many Barovians are terrible racists, but remember, they are living in fear, and see almost nobody but people who look like themselves. It is difficult for their mist-clouded minds to accept new things. 

["If only they would remember the story of Onishńy!")

What is Onishńy? Onishńy is in your bowl right now! 

It’s made from one of Barovia’s native foods, the Nish (a golden colored beet), and flavored with traditional Vistani spices. I don’t think you will find it in the city, but it is a very old dish.

The story is from thousands of years ago, and tells of a dragon that came eat the people of Barovia. He would eat not only their bodies, but also their souls, so when they were reborn, they only appeared as husks of empty people, with little emotion or love of life. Can you imagine a worse fate?

He terrorized the land. He faced an entire company of knights, and he ate them all - chomp chomp chomp!

[See art of the "Vistani Puppeteers]

He would have eaten every last soul in Barovia, were it not for the coming of the Vistani. You see, we are a wandering people, and we used to travel across all of the lands.

The Vistani who came to Barovia discovered this dish, where they mixed the Nish with their spices to make the delicious Onishny, and it fed them in this valley and kept them well. 

When the dragon finally came to the Vistani camp to feast upon souls, one of the old women was busy preparing a huuuuuge pot of Onishny. You see, the men were out hunting, or dancing the swords, or sleeping the wine out of their heads... no matter... the point is the woman was quite alone in her large camp. 

The dragon said to her: “old woman, call your people together and say your final words, for I am here to eat each and every one of you!”

The old woman said, “oh how terrible! But I cannot call the others, because they are out and will not return for at least an hour. I am so sorry to disappoint you.”

The dragon was enraged, and said “then I will simply eat you now and come back later! Say your last words, now, woman!”

The Vistana said to the dragon, “now please wait, you mustn’t do that, because this dish isn’t yet finished. The others know to return after it is finished, when the wonderful smell of Onishńy fills the air. If you eat me before then, they will perhaps never return for you! Instead, why don't you sit and wait with me, and I can share with you a story."

For you know, even then, the Vistani were masters of weaving stories!

The dragon had to admit that this was a good idea, that waiting an hour would mean a full meal of dozens of people for him, instead of one crunchy old woman. So the dragon sat across the fire from the old woman while she told her story.

The woman told a wonderful story.... of course, how could she not? She is Vistana, after all. But more importantly, as the stew cooked, the wonderful smell of Onishńy filled the air, and the dragon sat there, captivated by her story, with his nostrils flaring from the smell, and his mouth watering. Finally, as the story ended, the dragon could not control his hunger, and said to the old woman, "Old woman, that was a fine story, and the smell in your cookpot smells even better. Are you sure you haven't cooked your companions in that stew?"

"No, of course not! We humans never eat each other. To do so brings a curse, as everyone knows."

"Eating humans brings a curse??! I have never heard such a thing. And I have eaten thousands of humans!" laughed the dragon.

"Indeed. The curse is that you will continue to eat their flesh, craving it more than anything else, until when you can no longer find it, you die of madness from the cravings!"

Now the dragon had indeed eaten many of the people in this valley, and he was always craving more. He wondered if the old woman must be right

"This is terrible, but tell me again of this stew you cook! It smells so wonderful!"

The woman told him the recipe and offered a large dish to the dragon. When the dragon ate it, he said, "This is delicious. I would like to have more!"

The woman fed him again... and again and again, until the huge pot of stew was completely empty. 

The dragon, with a belly full of stew, his ears full of stories, and his mind dulled by wine, fell into a deep slumber. 

That is when the rest of the camp returned, smelling the delicious pot of stew finished. They fell upon the dragon and slew him before it had time to rise. 

What do you think the moral of the story is?

["That these stories should be shorter! Hahaha"]

The moral is, Reema (karma) is always waiting for you. If you come for us, you become our enemy. If you eat all of our stew, you may die!"

[Laughs and groans and hurrying Bela away from the fireside before he tells another one]